If you would have told me that my entire self worth was tied up in my outward appearance I would have NEVER believed you ….. until yesterday.
I found myself sitting in the hair salon waiting for my appointment. The anxiety I had was overwhelming and I was really struggling to hold it together and not have a complete melt down. I was sporting a technicolor of hideousness …. gray roots mixed with what I assume is my natural colour, abruptly followed by 4 inches of purple and then transcending into a faded collection of chestnut orange yuckiness that went on for another glorious 14 inches. It’s truly the most magnificent look I’ve had in recent memory ….. at least since my early 80’s montage of questionably iconic perms …. but I digress.
In January I decided to be my authentic outside self and I am literally starting from the top of my head ….. I made the decision to stop dying my hair and embrace whatever colour God gave me, which in my case will probably be some variation of salt and pepper. Reading my blog post My Last Will and Testament may be helpful in laying out the foundation for you.
Now back to my technicolor hideousness …..
The past few days have been a little trying, on a very superficial level I am embarrassed to admit, but for me at that moment the struggle was real and I was feeling defeated. I have been obsessing over my hair, the cut, the colour, absolutely everything! In fact this was the text exchange between Patrick and I in the midst of my personal drama.
Honestly ….. less than 24 hours later ….. Really? Tiffany, it’s hair …. I find myself asking “What just happened? How did you almost lose your mind over hair?”
I will tell you how it happened ….. media, magazines, society, even my own brother-in-law called me “stupid” for letting my hair go gray, he went even further to state that for men going gray was natural, but not for women (yes, he’s still alive) … However neanderthal I found his comments, it just proves the significance we place on women and their outward appearance, not to mention the obligation we feel to defy the aging process.
Why does the aging of a woman personify failure in the eyes of the world?
Why does the aging of a woman define when her career is over?
Why does the aging of a woman signal her best years are behind her?
Why does the aging of a woman conclude she is no longer attractive?
How did this happen? When did this happen? Why did this happen? Worse, why do we believe it?
Unfortunately every once in a while I allow myself to believe the lies about women, beauty and aging and every time I go there the drama that ensues is always exactly what unfolded at the hair salon yesterday!
I have bangs because someone once told me that the lines on my forehead made me look angry. I grew out my hair once because someone said that long hair would be more attractive (on them maybe!) ….. The saddest part? They were women who said these words to me. They said these things with the best of intentions, but I obsessed over those words. Sometimes I catch myself trying to iron out the wrinkles in my forehead with my fingers ….
Honestly, I can do better than that! We as women can do better than that!
For the record, I only cut my hair yesterday, I’m still living the technicolor dream for as long as it takes!
I really need to stop allowing the culture around me to drag me down, because truly I’m just getting started and the best is yet to come!
Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. Romans 12:2