Learning to Stand Still 

Most of my life has felt like a race with no clearly defined finish line. Running full speed ahead trying to achieve success, no matter what the cost.
The issue however was my definition of success. I defined and measured my success based on three criteria …. fame, fortune and power. I never really had a clear goal in mind, in fact this ‘destination’ I had never even clearly defined….all I knew was that if I achieved any combination of these three things I would be successful.

Since I had never achieved fame, amassed a fortune or acquired any power, I just kept running towards this unknown destination the world calls ‘success’. Even when I would hit a wall or stumble I would just pick myself up, dust myself off, turn and run in the other direction. As long as I kept running, regardless of the direction, I figured I would get there.

Then a few years ago my laces started to come undone. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t keep them tied in a nice pretty bow. I tried everything, double knots, new laces, everything short of trading them in shoes for velcro closures.

Nothing was working, I could no longer run, I had come to end of myself and what I could do in my own strength. I had no choice but just stand still in complete surrender.

At first the stillness was uncomfortable, so unfamiliar. I would see my shoes with the tattered undone laces and long to run again. I would see others running, passing me and I would wonder how I would ever catch up. When would it my turn again?

However one beautiful sunny afternoon in my stillness, I looked around at my surroundings as if I was seeing it all for the first time. I twirled around looking in awe at the magnificance around me, trying to take it all in. I couldn’t believe how magical the world felt at that very moment, a feeling of joy washed over me, a joy I had never known. I wanted to pinch myself to make sure it was real. I couldn’t believe that this was my life.

I had always been so busy running, allowing my circumstances to control which direction I would run. It was in my feeble attempt to achieve worldly success that I lost myself.

I somehow forgot to just be still and praise God. To acknowledge that I was fearfully and wonderfully made to live this life, my life, not someone else’s, but mine (Psalm 139:14). It was in that moment of acceptance I realized that as long as I kept running toward my distorted view of ‘success’, putting the world front and centre in my life that I was selling my soul, fighting for this life instead of eternity, that I would never be content with where I was. I would never be able to just appreciate the moment. I would be oblivious to the beauty in the world that surrounds me and the miracle that is my life. I would never be able to step into my God given potential.

I finally had to ask, what is the point of worldly success if trying to achieve it you lose you soul? (Mark 8:36)


His for sowing


One thought on “Learning to Stand Still 

  1. Mooi geschreven en getekend Tiffany! Zo goed dat je eindelijk goed om je heen kunt kijken om te zien en te ervaren wat het nu het belangrijkste en het belangrijke is in het leven! X


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s