Relationship Status …… It’s Complicated

Do you ever feel like you’re on the top world only to catch a glimpse of your reflection and wonder ….. What was I thinking? Who am I kidding?

Well if that has NEVER happened to you, then consider yourself the lucky one! Feel free to stop reading, click on the Web browser above, type in the words funny cat videos and get on with your life. I on the other hand can most likely be found sitting somewhere, getting lost in the on going narrative in my mind, that usually starts with ‘I’m not ……. enough’ highlighting everything about me that I am not.

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I’m not pretty enough
I’m not thin enough
I’m not smart enough
I’m not young enough
I’m not a good enough wife
I’m not kind enough
and my all time favorite, I’m not a good enough Christian

I could go on and on, as it seems that the list of self condemning adjectives I could use to fill in the blank is endless because the words change depending on the situation I find myself in.

That is probably why I haven’t published my blog in awhile. I was caught in the endless narrative of I’m not qualified enough, so I basically just stopped writing altogether.

Then Friday night as I sat in a warehouse converted into a Church in Cardiff Wales called Freedom Church  at an event called ‘The Cave’ …. God found me …. again.

You see at some point I had made my blog about me and my feeling of inadequacy, of being unqualified to write so I stopped. I had lost sight of its true purpose which was to share my walk with Jesus so that I could encourage someone else in theirs. Somewhere along the way however my faith walk had developed a limp. As the limp became more obvious I no longer felt qualified sharing my faith journey. I didn’t want anyone to use my limp as ammunition to take aim and fire.

Then I realized the truth, as counter intuitive as this is going to sound, I’m not enough, none of us are really. However I serve a God of more than enough. He provides grace when I limp, even if the world doesn’t.

So I’m back, ready to share, limp and all. I’m not going to let my ‘not enough’s’ get in the way of what God has equipped me to do.  Your role in this is to be my accountability partner πŸ˜‰

Amen.

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His for sowing

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8 thoughts on “Relationship Status …… It’s Complicated

  1. I can relate totally – but since you’re a believer, you know you are the apple of His eye and that you can do all things through Him! I have to remind myself of that daily 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You are more than enough, in Him.
    Satan loves to try and get us to believe his lies.
    I appreciate you and your words!
    Please keep sharing. πŸ’•

    Like

  3. Oh my can I relate to your list!!! I fight the “I am not enough” battle almost everyday. My greatest fear is that when I die and stand before the Lord, He will look at me and say, “I know you not” because I didn’t do something I should have or more likely, I did something I shouldn’t have! My mind goes round and round with Scripture….I have been saved by the sacrifice of Christ on the cross, He is my intercession between my sins and God. God sees me perfect through Jesus. ALL my sins were born on the cross, even the ones I have not yet done. Through Christ, I am totally forgiven.
    So then my brain starts going to the place of, “Okay fat girl, if you are born again, and the Holy Spirit lives inside of you, why do you still sin?” “Maybe you really haven’t been born again, maybe you are like the Pharisees, all talk and no action”? And the voice goes on and on…..

    Liked by 1 person

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