Do you ever feel like you’re on the top world only to catch a glimpse of your reflection and wonder ….. What was I thinking? Who am I kidding?
Well if that has NEVER happened to you, then consider yourself the lucky one! Feel free to stop reading, click on the Web browser above, type in the words funny cat videos and get on with your life. I on the other hand can most likely be found sitting somewhere, getting lost in the on going narrative in my mind, that usually starts with ‘I’m not ……. enough’ highlighting everything about me that I am not.
I’m not pretty enough
I’m not thin enough
I’m not smart enough
I’m not young enough
I’m not a good enough wife
I’m not kind enough
and my all time favorite, I’m not a good enough Christian
I could go on and on, as it seems that the list of self condemning adjectives I could use to fill in the blank is endless because the words change depending on the situation I find myself in.
probably why I haven’t published my blog in awhile. I was caught in the endless narrative of I’m not qualified enough, so I basically just stopped writing altogether.
You see at some point I had made my blog about me and my feeling of inadequacy, of being unqualified to write so I stopped. I had lost sight of its true purpose which was to share my walk with Jesus so that I could encourage someone else in theirs. Somewhere along the way however my faith walk had developed a limp. As the limp became more obvious I no longer felt qualified sharing my faith journey. I didn’t want anyone to use my limp as ammunition to take aim and fire.
Then I realized the truth, as counter intuitive as this is going to sound, I’m not enough, none of us are really. However I serve a God of more than enough. He provides grace when I limp, even if the world doesn’t.
So I’m back, ready to share, limp and all. I’m not going to let my ‘not enough’s’ get in the way of what God has equipped me to do. Your role in this is to be my accountability partner 😉
His for sowing